Monday, April 8, 2013

Totally Committed

I have been officially accepted as a surrogate with the agency!

Well, sort of.

That's what the letter of commitment I received stated in the beginning paragraph, but later added "Pending the results of the psychology testing."

Ah yes, that's probably important. They should definitely check to make sure I'm not discussing my surrogacy plans with any imaginary friends.

So after a very busy week, I have a lot to catch you up on! About 2 weeks ago, I posted a blog entry to let you know my medical records had been approved, and I was moving on to the screening process (as opposed to pre-screening). My surro friend, Jeni, who also happens to do the surrogate pre-screening process for the agency (a career I am very interested in, btw), commented on that post to give me the heads up that this part of the process would move very quickly. She was right! Two days later, I had my OB clearance appointment, and that same afternoon, I received two emails regarding the surrogacy process. One was informing me that I had been pre-authorized for maternity insurance. The other was from the agency's social worker, who was ready to schedule a two hour phone interview with me, and a one hour phone call with Austin.

I scheduled my call for Wednesday, April 3rd, and Austin's for Friday, April 5th. Both of my daughters are in school on Wednesday mornings, and I knew that would be the only way I could focus all of my attention on this interview. You know if my kids were home during this phone call, they would completely ignore me all morning playing contently by themselves until I answer the phone. Then some kind of child radar goes off, and they are instantly starving/fighting/whining/hot/cold/thirsty/bored/breaking things. All at once.

I was super nervous about this interview, and woke up early that morning because I was so nervous. Turns out, there was nothing to be nervous about. The social worker was so easy to talk to. The "interview" was her asking me questions about my life, and me telling her my stories. Questions like, "Tell me about your pregnancies and deliveries with your daughters." I haven't met a mom yet who doesn't like to share those stories! Or "Tell me how you met your husband and what your relationship is like." And "What are the reasons you decided to pursue surrogacy?" I'm the sort of story teller who likes to start at the beginning and tell the WHOLE story with all the details and quotes and what people were wearing (my best friend is nodding her head right now--you might be too, because of these blog posts). I think the social worker quickly realized she got more than she bargained for, because after a few of my responses, she politely said, "Well, I want to be mindful of the time, so...."

Our two hour conversation ended up being nearly three hours. Oops.

She talked to Austin on Friday, and apparently he wasn't nervous at all. Which, if you know my husband, means she had a hard time shutting him up too. :) They talked for about 90 minutes. I was baking and decorating all day for my youngest daughter's birthday, so I made Austin sit in the kitchen so I could listen to his end of the conversation. I found myself a couple of times quietly chiming in while he was talking, which I really didn't want to do! It was just so hard! But I stopped myself, just let him talk, and enjoyed listening to his perspective on a lot of the same questions. Some of the answers were so different from mine, it was hard not to laugh.

Like this one...

Social Worker: "It sounds like you guys have been a couple since you were very young. Tell me how you met your husband."

Me: "I was a junior in high school. My best friend was a girl named Lisa, and she'd known Austin since 2nd grade. They lived in this little country town named Geneva, his mom even picked him up from school on their horse. He was driving home from the feed store with the bed of his truck full of hay. Lisa and I were talking with some friends, and here comes Austin, driving fast around the corner on the dirt road. He stopped to say hi to Lisa, and she introduced us. I remember being embarrassed to smile at him because I had just gotten my braces off that morning........" Etc. etc. etc.

Now Austin's turn...

Social Worker: "It sounds like you guys have been a couple since you were very young. Tell me how you met your wife."

Austin: "Through a mutual friend."

I'm still laughing at that one. ;)

Just a couple of hours after Austin's interview was complete, we received the commitment letter from the agency! The letter had several statements I needed to initial, confirming that I understand many of my responsibilities being a surrogate (giving yourself injections, traveling for procedures, etc.). I signed it and sent it back this morning. Some time this week, the social worker will set me up with the agency's psychologist for the MMPI test, and concurrently, she'll send me a profile of the first set of IP's!

The social worker mentioned a particular set of IP's several times that she seems to already have in mind for us. She didn't give me many details, and I'm not sure whether I can or should share the details here just yet, in case we aren't matched. So for now, I'll just reveal that it is an international same sex male couple! I'm excited to see what new information we get this week!

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