Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Only the Beginning

I've been sitting here wondering where to start this first post...so after typing and deleting several times, I've decided to start at the beginning. The VERY beginning. The very first time thoughts of being a surrogate began stirring around in my head. It didn't catch me by surprise, as crazy as it sounds. It was more like, "Why the heck have I never thought of this before?!"

It was way back in 2003. I was 22 years old, had been married for less than a year, and pregnant with my first baby girl. I was finishing up my bachelor's degree in elementary education, and that particular semester was exhausting. I spent half the day teaching kindergarten, then I'd come home, lay down and rest for 20 minutes, and then head off to a 3 hour class at the university. Fridays were easy though...once I was done teaching, I was free for the rest of the day. Usually, that meant I would sit on the couch with my feet up, write lesson plans or do homework, doze in and out of sleep (did I mention teaching, going to school, and growing a baby all at once is exhausting?!), and watch marathons of "A Baby Story" on TLC. I was practically completely addicted to that show. I was a first time preggo, and I couldn't get enough of other women's stories. Some of the episodes made me more excited to have a baby, and some scared the crap out of me. But one stuck with me the most, even now, a decade later.

It was an episode about a woman carrying a baby for her brother and his husband. She was a traditional surrogate (different from a gestational surrogate). This was the second baby girl she was carrying for them. I remember thinking it was AWESOME of TLC to show two gay fathers on A Baby Story. Ten years ago, there was no "Modern Family" or "The New Normal" yet. For a TV show  to feature a man in a normal, loving relationship with another man, the two of them excited to be fathers again...it was a pretty amazing thing. By using the surrogate's eggs and her brother-in-law's sperm, the baby was actually genetically related to BOTH fathers. How cool is that?! I was so moved by their story, and I couldn't help thinking about a family member of mine that is gay. I remember saying to myself, "I could do that for him, if he wanted a family. I could TOTALLY do that!" I was really excited about the idea and would think about it often over the next few years.

Since that day, I've had two daughters: one in 2004 and one in 2009. I have considered being a gestational surrogate for several different friends and family members, if they reached a point in their lives where they needed to make the decision to use a surrogate. But as of now, that hasn't been the case, and I am 99% sure we are done having children. So now the idea of surrogacy for someone other than a family member keeps popping in my head. My children have made me who I am. They are my reason for being, and once I became a mother, I knew my purpose in life. I knew why I was here. How amazing would it be to give someone else a chance to experience life with a child of their own? To be able to help them create their own family!

So here we are...it's only the beginning but I can already picture the end: seeing two intended parents become ACTUAL parents when their brand new baby is placed in their arms. Now, if I can just keep that image in my head when I have to give myself those dreaded progesterone injections....


  1. Drumroll please.....

    FIRST COMMENT on a blog that's going to end up being HUGE!

    Love your style of writing, and that you're sharing from the very beginning.

    Can't wait to read more. You're awesome.

    (And you know I double and triple checked this comment for errors, right?) :)

  2. I am so proud of you baby girl and can't wait for this journey to begin! I love you more than you will ever know!