Closing Time.

This is it. My last blog post.

I've been wanting to do one for a while, but I wasn't sure what to say. Then I had too much to say. And lacked the energy to form a coherent final entry. So I've been avoiding it. Until today.

My Timehop app notification pops up. And the first thing I see is this.

The day that everything officially started unraveling. I've been waiting for it. Every day on Timehop, I see Facebook status updates from one year ago relating to surrogacy in one way or another. After all, I was living, eating, breathing surrogacy at the time.

So here we are, one year later. All the surrogates that I follow who got pregnant around the same time I was beginning my medication cycling have had their surro-babes now. The last one, the surrogate whose journey was most like mine (same agency, same RE, thin lining issues, transfer canceled) gave birth last week. Some of the surrogates are already working on a second journey.

Although I would have loved for my surrogacy journey to have worked out with J&S (who sadly still have no baby on the way), it's hard to imagine at this point that I would have been giving birth this summer. It's hard to imagine the things I got to do that I may have missed out on, had I still been pursuing surrogacy or been pregnant or giving birth.

Things like birthday parties for my daughters.

Or running a 5K with my husband.

Ringing in the New Year with my amazing friends (and alcohol).

Watching my baby "gradulate" from preschool.

And birthday shenanigans in St. Augustine with my best girl.

So while I knew that being a surrogate meant making sacrifices I was willing to make, it feels good looking back to know I didn't have to miss any of these moments. I did lose a couple of friends as a result of my decision to be a surrogate for a gay couple. But let's be honest, I'm not really missing out on anything there, am I? ;)

I am so thankful for this whole experience though. I learned so much about myself, my support system, and my ability to push myself further than I ever thought possible (Hello, needle-phobe giving myself dozens of intramuscular injections!). I made friends I would have never found otherwise and traveled to places I never thought I'd go. Speaking of which, my whirlwind trip with my husband to New York City for the medical screening still goes down as one of the most memorable 36 hours of my life. Manhattan, Grand Central Terminal, the top of the Empire State Building, the lights of Times Square, the harrowing taxi rides, and spring in full bloom. 

This was our first glimpse of the city as we walked out of Grand Central Terminal. It literally took my breath away. We both gasped in awe and disbelief. I will never forget that rush, which is good, because pictures do not do this city justice. Who knew that two small town kids would get bit by the big city bug? We are both itching to go back for another visit!

So remember all that pain and heartache I felt when my surrogate dream crashed down around me? Turns out it gets better. I'm okay now. And after an astounding 25,000 page views on this blog from all over the world, lengthy applications (and quick denials) with over 2 dozen surrogacy agencies after my lining issues, and countless syringes and hormone pills, my surrogacy chapter is closed.

Closing time.

You don't have to go home, but you

Can't. Stay. Here.

(P.S. I knooow whoooo I waaaant to take me home!.......sorry, couldn't help it. It's in my head now.)

A Different Kind of Surrogacy Journey!

So I must be addicted to surrogacy, because it's been weeks since I was released by my 2nd agency/2nd RE and I still think about it a lot. I did end up contacting 2 of the 3 agencies that had previously approved me, and they both declined me now based on my lining issues. Expected, but still a bummer.

Then over the last week, an opportunity to become a Surrogate Recruiter with one of these agencies, Family Inceptions International, was offered to me, and today we had our phone call and made it "official!" It's an informal position, no quota to meet or anything like that. My goal is to find QUALITY (not quantity) potential surrogates from the Southeast, mainly Georgia. The agency has intended parents waiting to be matched and begin their amazing journey, and they need awesome surrogates to do so. I'm nervous about it, because I'm not entirely sure how to find these girls to recruit them! But I'm hoping it will also get my foot in the door to become a surrogate coordinator at some point.

It seemed to have lit that spark in me again though, because this afternoon, I found myself emailing my journey story to the 3rd agency that I hadn't contacted again, as well as one that I reached out to back in August but never actually applied with. I just know they won't approve me, but sometimes I feel like I have to keep asking! Ugh!

Side note: If you are in the southeast region of the United States, especially Georgia, and you know of any women who may be interested in pursuing gestational surrogacy, please have them contact me at theirpeainmypod@gmail.com. And make sure to let me know you sent them!